6 Photos That Prove Dads Should Never Dress Kids

Neve Spicer
Written by Neve Spicer Updated on September 2nd, 2021

Today I went shopping leaving daddy in charge of the kids. Several hours later, I came home and was confronted by my 4-year-old daughter wearing an outfit so ridiculous I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was as if daddy had carefully picked the two most clashing patterns in her wardrobe and then put them next to each other. Perhaps it was an experiment to test whether the combination would stimulate an onlookers gag reflex.

Yes, it was that bad!

It made me wonder (out loud) whether dads realise that mismatched patterns are a bad idea?

In his defense, he contested, “She chose them.”

I wasn’t sure. She has better taste than that.

And then, in a lofty tone, as he left the room, “I’m giving her the freedom to develop her own style and the responsibility to dress herself.”


“Fine,” I said, “but not when she’s just about to leave the house!”

After we’d finished chuckling about it, I was inspired to search around for other examples of dads clashing patterns.

Six delightfully bad pattern clashes chosen by dads

Here are the best worst examples I could find:

#1 The 80s leopard print confetti

Baby dressed badly

Adorable baby, but dad, what were you thinking? Euurrrgh!

#2 Orange + pink = no, no, no

It’s the sheer innocence in his eyes. Not a clue. Dad either!

#3 Multiple dimension of wrongness

Size – wrong. Colors – mismatched. Patterns – Eeek!

#4 Polka explosion

Yup, the shoes too!

#5 Something’s not quite right

Okay, dad, the colors and patterns go, but when do you wear your underwear on the outside?

#6 Haute ‘pattern’ couture

Dad, lucky you! Despite your efforts, your daughter is so delightful that she actually pulls this off. She elevates your mismatched patterns and turns them into something trendy.

Come on dads, prove me wrong

I’m just having a bit of a giggle here, but, dads, if you’re seething at my casual sexism and feel that you dress your kids well, then let me know. I’ll write a post featuring your skills and that of all the other dads who I’ve wronged.

Take that as a challenge!

Neve x

Neve Spicer
Written by Neve Spicer Updated on September 2nd, 2021

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Why Dads Should Never Dress Kids
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#1 Daddy, I need to make a real volcano for school tomorrow. #2 Mommy, Jack threw his hair bugs at me!!!