Golf Puns Guaranteed to Drive You Crazy

Be a sport and check out these above-par golf puns and jokes.

Emily Polash
Written by Emily Polash Updated on October 19th, 2023

Golf originated in Scotland and in those early days players would attempt to hit a pebble over dunes and around tracks using a bent stick or club.

While golf can be an elite sport, funny films such as ‘Happy Gilmore’ bring some laughter and silliness to the game. The invention of crazy golf in the early 20th century brought families to the game making it fun and entertaining to try to putt past obstacles. 

So take a tour of some 50 golf puns and come up with some more of your own. 

For more laughs take a look at these bike puns and chess puns.

  1. I must admit my golf game is tee-rific!
  2. Grandma couldn’t wear her golf trousers anymore. She got a hole-in-one.
  3. What’s a golfer’s favorite car? A caddy-lac.
  4. The golfer’s ball got lost. He had to bunker down for the night.
  5. Where do professional golfers go on holiday? The Golf Coast. 
  6. I’m playing golf this weekend, I’m hoping for a hole lotta fun.
  7. Where do baby golfers go to play? At the sand-putt.
  8. I’m so bad at golf, I’d rather not par-take.
  9. Why did the golfer run away from the course? He hit a bogey-man.
  10. I don’t drink anymore at my golf club. I’m tee-total.
  11. Why did the golfer hit the ball at the tree? He wanted to get a birdie!
  12. My sister left the putting green. It was not her cup of tee.
  13. What does a golfer put on his bread? Putter.
  14. My golf buggy broke down, so I put the cart before the course.
  15. What song do golfers love most? Ooh What a Fast Par.
  16. Why was the golf caddy so popular? He was an open book.
  17. The golf club canceled my membership. It was a cheap shot.
  18. Being a golf pro isn’t easy, you have to be tee-rrific!
  19. Why does my golfer husband adore his car? He loves to take long drives.
  20. When golfers get a birdie they’re par-ticularly pleased!
  21. What’s that classic golf song? Fairway to Heaven.
  22. I heard that Abraham Lincoln loved golf. Yes, he made the speech “fore score and seven years ago “.
  23. Why was the golfer given a cube? He wanted to putt a square in a round hole.
  24. Squirrel’s like golf as they collect their putts in winter.
  25. Why did the golf caddy put up a notice in the clubhouse? He was open for business.
  26. The golfer let his competitor take the shot. Why? Because he was a sport.
  27. What did the golfer say when the caddy said he was out of the cart business? That’s par for the course.
  28. Did you hear the golfer was kicked out of the competition? He was always going out clubbing.
  29. What did the caddy say when the golfer asked him to carry the clubs? It looks like I’m in the driver’s seat now.
  30. Golfers love to dance to that song from 50-Cent. In Da Club.
  31. I saw a ghostly figure on the golf course in Ireland. It was a Bansh-tee!
  32. Mr Golf just had a baby girl. Her name is Mini.
  33. What do golfers do when they see a birthday cake? They take a slice.
  34. What did the golfer say when he went to the car showroom? I want to be a Mini driver.
  35. The weather turned stormy while we played golf. We were blown off course.
  36. My golf game is so bad, I just want to fore-get it.
  37. After a long day at the golf course, I was par-ched.
  38. What do you call a golf cart driving towards another? A collision course.
  39. Why did I fire my golf caddie? He always dropped the ball.
  40. Golfers’ favorite mafia film is ‘The Golf Father’.
  41. I fell in love with a golfer. We’re in a wonderful par-tnership.
  42. Where do golfers like to buy jewelry? Cart-ier.
  43. The golf competition started with the first player taking a long shot. He kept the ball in the air.
  44. What did the detective say when investigating a murder on the golf course? This is an ‘open’ and shut case.
  45. If you want to be a great golfer you have to putt your heart into it.
  46. Golfers are like children. They love the swings.
  47. Why did the golfer retire? The game took its hole on him.
  48. Did you hear a golfer tripped another golfer? He was green with envy.
  49. Why do golfers go regularly to the doctor? They’ve got clubbed feet.
  50. The golfer played his game in the midday sun. He wanted to strike while the iron was hot.
  51. A healthy snack for golfers is a green tee with a sliced club sandwich.
Emily Polash
Written by Emily Polash Updated on October 19th, 2023