50 Pirate Jokes for Kids

Phyllis Steward
Written by Phyllis Stewart Updated on July 23rd, 2021

Pirates were basically thieves that used the waterways to gain their ill-gotten treasures, but there are also other types of seamen who gained the booty of others. Privateers, for instance, were given papers by various governments to legally attack ships belonging to their enemies and take any valuables.

There were rules aboard pirate ships. These would include how loot was to be divided, what chores should be done by whom, and the behavior that was expected of the crew. Most common was the rule that there was no fighting allowed onboard the ship. The arguing parties would have to wait until they reached the shore to settle their differences.

September 19, 2021 will be America’s National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Sounds like a great day to have a pARRRty!

  1. What is a pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet? RRRRRR!
  2. What has 8 arms, 4 legs, and 4 eyes? Eight pirates.
  3. What is a pirates most feared insect? Termites.
  4. What is a pirate’s favorite movie? Booty and the Beast.
  5. What do pirates spread on their toast? Jelly Roger.
  6. Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards? The captain was standing on the deck.
  7. How do pirates talk to each other? Aye to aye.
  8. Why do pirates have a hard time learning the alphabet? Because they are always at C.
  9. How did the pirate get his ship so cheap? He bought it on sail.
  10. How do pirates make money? By hook or by crook.
  11. Why is pirating so addictive? Because after you lose your first hand, you get hooked.
  12. What do you call a pirate with two arms, two legs, and two eyes? A rookie.
  13. What do you call a pirate who skips school? Captain Hooky.
  14. What did a pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? An arm and a leg.
  15. How much did the pirate pay for his hoop earrings? A buck-an-ear.
  16. Why do pirates never shower? They’ll just wash up on shore later.
  17. Why is it hard to get a pirate on his phone? It’s always off the hook.
  18. What’s the name of the pirate’s girlfriend? Peg.
  19. What are a pirate’s favorite colors? Gold and silver.
  20. What’s a pirate’s favorite fish? A swordfish.
  21. What shivers at the sea bottom? A nervous wreck.
  22. What happened when the pirate fell into the Red Sea? He was marooned.
  23. Why did the pirate cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
  24. What did the dyslexic pirate say? RRRR-ahr.
  25. Why was the pirate good at basketball? He had a great hook shot.
  26. What kind of ships do pirates find hard to maintain? Relationships.
  27. Where do pirates park their ships? In the harrrr-bor.
  28. Why do pirates give away eye patches on Halloween? Eye-pnones are too expensive.
  29. What does a pirate eat for breakfast? Captain Crunch.
  30. What did the pirate say one winter day? Thar she snows!
  31. What do all the pirates do on Black Friday? They hit the sails.
  32. Why did the pirate go to the Apple Store? He needed a new i-patch.
  33. Why do pirates carry their swords? Because swords can’t walk.
  34. Which well-known pirate was always sad? Blue-beard.
  35. Why did the marooned pirate call his buddy for help? Because he trusted his friend-ship.
  36. What did the pirate say when he made a mistake? The ARRRR is human.
  37. What is the favorite baseball team of pirates? The Pittsburgh Pirates.
  38. Who was the most frugal of all pirates? Captain Barry D. Treasure.
  39. How do you make a pirate angry? Take away the P to make him irate.
  40. Why didn’t the pirate get hungry on the desert island? Because sand-wiches are there.
  41. What is a pirate’s least favorite vegetable? Leeks.
  42. How did the pirate stop the computer hackers? He installed a patch.
  43. What kind of meat do pirates like? BARR-B-Q.
  44. Why did the pirate join Gold’s Gym? To improve his booty.
  45. Why do pirates bury their treasure only 18 inches down? Because booty is only shin deep.
  46. What do you call an ignorant pirate? The pillage idiot.
  47. What do you call a pirate who robs the rich and gives to the poor? Robin Hook.
  48. How do you save an injured pirate? Use CP-ARRR.
  49. How did the pirate know he’d found land? He was just shore of it.
  50. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? So he can just wash ashore.
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Phyllis Steward
Written by Phyllis Stewart Updated on July 23rd, 2021

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