50 Horse Jokes for Kids

Phyllis Steward
Written by Phyllis Stewart Updated on July 23rd, 2021

Who doesn’t like horses? They look majestic, have helped mankind through thousands of years of transportation and farming, and they’re very funny. Just look at all these horse jokes. We got most of them from the horses’ mouths; no, really!

See if you can make up some of your own. Better yet, just ask your horse to help you.

  1. What do you call a horse of a different color? Old Paint.
  2. What has four legs walks backward? A horse in reverse.
  3. What do you call a horse’s great ship? A stallion galleon.
  4. What do you call a horse who lives in Baltimore? A Mare-y-lander.
  5. What did the pony scout do? A good steed every day.
  6. What’s the best job for a 4H pony? To be a plow horse.
  7. What does a mare wear to her wedding? A bridle dress.
  8. What do you call the jewelry around a horse’s neck? Gelding gilding.
  9. What did the vet say to the horse with a sore back? I see you’re a little saddle sore.
  10. What do you call your best-friend horse? Pal-amino
  11. How did the horse get his homework done so quickly? He took the bit in his teeth.
  12. What does a pony use to get warm at night? A saddle blanket.
  13. What do you call a Shetland pony who’s pulling a plow? A teeny furrow burrower.
  14. Why did the horse go to criminal college? He wanted to be a computer hack-er.
  15. What do you call a horse’s tail? A horsefly flyswatter.
  16. How did the mare mix a cake? She used stirrups.
  17. Why wouldn’t the little cowboy go to school? Wild horses couldn’t drag him.
  18. How did the cowboy get sunburned? He rode bareback.
  19. What happened when the cowboy fell off his horse? His saddle skedaddled.
  20. What did the dentist say to the horse? You’ll need braces if you don’t want those horse teeth.
  21. What did the blacksmith say to the horse? You’ve got two left feet.
  22. What do you call an insincere small horse? A phony pony.
  23. What did the American Colonial horse do when the British invaded? He stuck a feather in his mane and called it hack-a-roni.
  24. What kind of movies do horses like? Horse operas.
  25. What do you call a horse who’s put on weight? Thunder Under-carriage.
  26. What’s the difference between a Western horse and an Eastern horse? About 2,000 miles.
  27. What do you call a good cowboy? Stable able.
  28. What did the mare say to the stallion? You’re a handsome horse in-steed.
  29. How many horses does it take to make a herd? 15, the speed limit on the prairie is 60 hooves per hour.
  30. What happened when the cowboy told his red horse bad jokes? The roan groaned.
  31. What did the farmer say to the horse? Getting you saddled is a real cinch.
  32. How many broncos does it take to carry a rodeo cowboy? Just one; the rest passed the buck.
  33. Why did the pony get an F on his report? Because he missed the mane point.
  34. What did the judge say to the naughty pony? No more tricks, or I’ll use prison stripes and you’ll look like any other zebra.
  35. How do you tell whether a horse is pretty to another horse? You can’t; they don’t use language very well.
  36. How do horses send letters to each other? With a stampede.
  37. What did the horse say to the groomer? Please polish my hoofs and do my hair. I have a date tonight with my mane squeeze.
  38. What do you call a dancing horse? A prancer.
  39. Why did the horse have an extra shoe in his saddlebag? He was afraid he’d get a flat.
  40. Where do horses cook their meals? On the range.
  41. Why did the farmers laugh at the bucking bronco? They got a kick out of him.
  42. Why did the horse wear glasses? He was a little farm-sighted.
  43. Where do the horses in the barn eat? At the stable table.
  44. How many horses does it take to build a barn? None; they can’t use tools.
  45. Who’s the best horseman at the Smith farm? The blacksmith.
  46. Why did the pony yell? He wanted to be herd.
  47. Why didn’t the lady horse eat clover? Because mares eat oats.
  48. What does a horse say when he agrees with you? Yes, in-steed!
  49. How many horses does it take to pull Farmer John’s wagon? None; he got a pickup truck instead.
  50. What kind of race does the pastor’s horse run? The steeplechase.
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Phyllis Steward
Written by Phyllis Stewart Updated on July 23rd, 2021

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