Act Your Age With These 50 Grandpa Puns

Grandpas! They tell us fascinating stories full of adventure and hilarity. We listen while our mother rolls her eyes in the background and laughs at the funny situation.

We know our Grandpa will be there for adventures and take us out for some candy, which Mum didn’t want you to have. Grandpa takes us on his knee and reads a bedtime story and the memories of these times stay with us until we’re grown.

So check out these Granpa jokes and have a laugh at ancient history.  No, just kidding, it’s one of Grandpa’s stories.

1. Grandfathers are always looking at their watches. There as old as time.
2. My father learned the building trade from my Grandfather. He’s a chip off the old block.
3. Grandfathers are like old-fashioned hall passes – they never expire!
4. My Grandfather is great he even joined my Grandpa-jama party.
5. What do you call your Grandfather’s memories? Ancient history.
6. Grandpa’s so old he predates dust.
7. I’m so old, I’ve seen it all – and I’ve forgotten most of it.
8. Grandpa’s favorite musical instrument? The grand piano
9. How do old people read the time? With a grandfather clock.
10. Grandpa’s favorite drink is grandpa-pple juice.
11. When Grandpa wants to relax, he likes to lay in his grandpa-cuzzi.
12. How did your Grandpa go on that long hike? He’s over the hill.
13. Grandpa always said, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the geriatric ward!”
14. How do you greet Grandfathers in Spain? “Ola Senior!”
15. Granddad always said that it’s never too late to learn something new – he calls it Granddad-ucation.
16. What did Grandpa buy when he went to Starbucks? A Grandad-latte.
17. Don’t get Grandpa started on his old war stories. He’ll start vete-ranting.
18. Grandpa’s so kind, he’s a real heart-iarch.
19. Why do Grandpas like soup? Because they’re both seasoned.
20. My Grandpa finds the best deals for headwear. You could say he is an old hat.
21. Grandpa is so old, he remembers when the Dead Sea was just sick.
22. Why did your Grandad step in front of that model in the queue? It’s age before beauty.
23. Grandpa is so ancient, he’s been around since Noah started building the Ark.
24. Grandpa’s like a fossil – he’s seen some history!
25. What did Granpa say when he went into the Apple store? Where’s the fresh produce department?
26. Grandfathers are pun-dits.
27. Grandfathers are so wise, they must have a lot of sage advice.
28. Grandpa says, “I used to be a banker, but I lost interest!”
29. What happened when Grandad fell asleep on the fireplace? He slept like a log.
30. My mathematician grandad give us sweets. It’s the little things that count.
31. Grandpa was sure about his beard. Then it grew on him.
32. Grandpa said he doesn’t need glasses, he just needs a bigger grandpa-scope.
33. Grandpa always gets the best seats at the movies, because he’s an oldie but a goodie.
34. Age is just a state of mind unless you look in the mirror.
35. Grandad drove into town the other day. He got a Pa-rking ticket.
36. My Grandad was so fuddy duddy, he still used a horse and buggy to get to town.
37. Grandfathers are like popcorn – they always bring a kernel of wisdom.
38. My Grandpa is very tall. We call him Grandaddy long-legs.
39. What does everyone say when Grandad farts? There’s a blast from the past.
40. Grandpa loves to drink milk. It’s past-urised.
41. What do you call a Grandad in a crusher? Time-pressed.
42. Grandpa is so old he used to babysit Moses. 
43. Grandpa’s favorite sport is curling up with a good book.
44. Grandpa says he’s too old for a mid-life crisis.
45. Why did Grandpa bite that old woman? She was Granny Smith.
46. The only money Grandpa gets now is a health check.
47. Grandpa’s a real pro at making puns – you could say he’s a pun-slinger!
48. My Grandad’s hearing aid has a built-in “senior discount” button. 
49. Grandpa always said “You can’t have your cake and dentures too!”
50. Grandpa’s always had a great sense of humor, it’s over the hill-arious.