50 Axe Puns That Will Get You Axe-Cited

Natalie Grant (with child sleeping)
Written by Natalie Grant Updated on October 6th, 2023

Take a swing at these 50 axe puns that will leave you in gut-wrenching giggles.

Not everyone wielding an axe is a murderer, it actually has a practical use. Axes can be used for cutting and splitting wood. Also for cutting down that Christmas tree we wanted.

Axes can save lives when held by a fireman to rescue a trapped person. When using an axe mishaps can occur and the near misses make for funny viewing.

So let these axe jokes fall into your lap and why not add a few more to the log pile?

Just don’t forget to shout, Timber!!!

  1. I’m an axe-pert at splitting logs.
  2. My axe-pertise is second to none.
  3. What did the axe say when it was stuck in a tree? I’m axe-hausted.
  4. How do you get an axe to go back to work? Say chop chop!
  5. The tree was upset with the axe and was real cut up about it.
  6. What’s an axe’s favorite mode of transport? A chopper.
  7. I saw a lumberjack chopping down a tree, it was a timber-rific sight.
  8. What does a tree say when it’s cold? Tim-brrrrrrrr!
  9. Why was the lumberjack so sad? He was missing his axe.
  10. I’m just an axe but I’m a cut above the rest.
  11. My axe was very curious. He kept axe-ing questions.
  12. Axe is so good at chopping stuff that it should open a chop shop.
  13. Why was the axe investigated by the FBI? He was a hacker.
  14. The axe went to the job interview but didn’t get the job. The advert said chipper, not chopper.
  15. My axe is into dangerous hobbies. Axe-treme sports.
  16. When it comes to chopping wood, I’m an absolute ax-pert.
  17. No one can ax-ceed my woodworking skills.
  18. What did the axe say when it went to the barbershop? “I’m here for a chop!”
  19. Why did the axe go to the doctor? It was feeling a little dull.
  20. I’m so glad I don’t have to be a lumberjack, I just can’t hack it.
  21. What did the axe say to the tree? Are you kindling?
  22. An axe’s favorite game is Axe-box.
  23. Axe threw an amazing party with great execution.
  24. The axe did well on the market. He made a killing!
  25. Why did the axe cross the road? He was on a chopping spree
  26. What did the angry axe say to the saw? Cut it out!
  27. What did the axe say to the log? Let’s get cracking.
  28. Axe loves Chinese food especially chop suey.
  29. Axe-identally, I chopped down the wrong tree.
  30. I heard a joke about an axe but it fell flat.
  31. What did the axe say when it couldn’t find its way out of the forest? I’m stumped!
  32. I tried to write a song about an axe, but it just wasn’t chopping it.
  33. He’s the best at axe-ing questions.
  34. I tried to play a tune on an axe, but I just couldn’t get a handle on it.
  35. The axe’s performance was choppy.
  36. I’m going to axe the question again. Do you have any axes?
  37. Why was the lumberjack in trouble? He didn’t hand in his axes.
  38. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite music? Swing.
  39. Did you hear what the axe said at the amazing party? This is off the hook.
  40. I’m so glad I was able to axe-cess my timber funds.
  41. Where do you go to buy axes? The chop shop.
  42. Axes are popular in China. They chop sticks.
  43. What’s an axe’s favorite composer? Chop-in.
  44. A lumberjack was so skilled with an axe, he could split hairs.
  45. I was so angry with the tree, I wanted to throw an axe-plosive fit.
  46. I had a great time at the cleaving party – it was a cut above the rest.
  47. My uncle is a great lumberjack, even his words are cutting.
  48. What did the tree say when it was time for bed? Good night, I’m logging off.
  49. Why did the axe cut down the tree? The tree was barking mad.
  50. I’m so good at axe-ing puns, I could chop down a forest.

Natalie Grant (with child sleeping)
Written by Natalie Grant Updated on October 6th, 2023