Have Fun and Treat Yourself to 50 Doctor Puns

Natalie Grant (with child sleeping)
Written by Natalie Grant Updated on October 2nd, 2023

They say laughter is the best medicine, so go ahead and laugh with these 50 doctor puns.

It’s not always fun to go to the doctor when we are feeling unwell. Yet, there are those doctors that make us laugh and smile which makes us feel better. When treating patients, humor can be a doctor’s greatest tool.

Doctors do sometimes make mistakes while treating someone.  Yet this error has fueled many ‘Doctor Doctor’ jokes which we all love.

Feeling a bit sick and tired? A bit down in the dumps? Cheer yourself up with these ‘p’illarious jokes all about those medical professionals

  1. Why did the doctor never get angry? He was always so patient.
  2. The doctor prescribed an ice cream cone. He thought it would help the patient’s temperature go down.
  3. Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together man!
  4. What did the doctor say when his patient asked for some medicine? He said “Take two and call me in the morning!”
  5. Why did the doctor go to the seaside? He wanted to get a good dose of vitamin sea!
  6. What did the doctor say to the sick lemon? Are you feeling sour?
  7. Why did the doctor choose the stethoscope from the toy store? Because he wanted a heart-felt gift!
  8. Doctor, doctor, I have 59 seconds to live. Just a minute, please.
  9. How do you get away from a doctor? Throw an apple at him.
  10. Why did the MD go to prison for fraud? He doctored the accounts.
  11. How do doctors measure their prescriptions? With a spoonful.
  12. I’m not a fan of taking medicine, it’s always a hard pill to swallow.
  13. Why did the doctor shoot at the patient? It was a magic bullet.
  14. Doctor, doctor, I think I’m invisible. Next, please!
  15. Why did the doctor want to be rich? To be a pill-anthropist.
  16. What did the doctor order at the Mexican restaurant? A prescr-burrito!
  17. My doctor prescribed some punicillin for a punny cough. 
  18. Why did the doctor go to the museum? He needed to cure-ate something.
  19. Doctors don’t like singing. Their always hitting the right sick notes.
  20. There was a page for Dr Jekyll. There was no Hyde or hair of him.
  21. I stopped going to my local hospital. The doctors treated me like dirt.
  22. Why are you on a cruise to the Bahamas? It’s just what the doctor ordered.
  23. Being a doctor is a scru-bby business.
  24. How does a doctor address his wife? Ma-lady!
  25. What did the witch doctor say to the patient? “Take two spells and call me in the morning!”
  26. Ancient doctors were so ahead of their time, they could cure any illness with a single glance.
  27. What did the doctor say when he prescribed a new medication? Let’s give it a shot!
  28. Why did the medicine appear in court? It was up for trial.
  29. Doctors love going to supermarkets. They can check themselves out.
  30. My doctor always says please and thank you. He has great bedside manners.
  31. What was the midwife doing in the graveyard? Delivering a voodoo child.
  32. What do you call patients at the hospital? The walking wounded.
  33. Did you hear about the doctor that vanished after saving 100 lives? Doctor Who? 
  34. Why did the doctor take his stethoscope to the nightclub? To dance to the rhythm of his heart. 
  35. What did the leg amputee say to the MD after getting his prosthetic? I’ll take it for a spin-doctor.
  36. My dad is a GP, when he comes home we all shout” Doctor in the house!”
  37. The patient asked the doctor why he was so sick, and the doctor said, “I’m afraid you’ve caught a bad case of de ja-flu.”
  38. What do you call a throat doctor? A throat-erapist.
  39. My doctors so funny, he prescribes pun-icillin to patients.
  40. Being a doctor is pretty humerus. 
  41. Where do you go to check your heart rate? Pulse-station.
  42. Why was the doctor angry with the skeleton? He had a bone to pick with him.
  43. Why did the doctor go to the beach? He needed some vitamin sea
  44. Our doctor went above and beyond to help my mother. He was a cure-osity.
  45. Why did you go to the hospital, a clinic, and a farm? I was playing Doc Doc Goose.
  46. I had an appointment with the optometrist, but I think he was just seeing things. 
  47. Why did your father shove his medication down the doctor’s throat? He needed a taste of his own medicine.
  48. I went to the doctor and he said I needed to stop eating unhealthy food, so I found a nutritionist!
  49. Did you see the doctor tapping on his patient’s stomach? He wants to join a gastric band.
  50. Why did you go to the witch doctor when you broke your arm? She’s great at casting spells.
Natalie Grant (with child sleeping)
Written by Natalie Grant Updated on October 2nd, 2023