50 Periodic Table Puns to Laugh Your Trace Off

Natalie Grant (with child sleeping)
Written by Natalie Grant Updated on October 11th, 2023

Welcome, young scientists! You’ll be in your element with these 50 periodic table puns that are so infuse-ing.

Do you know what the periodic table is? It’s a big chart that lists all the elements, like oxygen, carbon, and gold. And do you know what’s really fun? Making puns with the names of the elements!

For example, did you know that if you tell a joke about sodium, people might say “Na, that’s not funny!” Or, if you talk about iron, you can say it’s a “Fe-rocious” element.

So, get ready to laugh and learn some fun periodic table puns!

  1. I tried to make a joke about noble gases, but all the good ones Argon.
  2. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
  3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  4. If you tell a joke about sodium, people might say “Na, that’s not funny!”
  5. What did one element say to the other? “I’ve got my ion you!”
  6. Two atoms were walking down the street and one suddenly stops and says, “Oh no! I’ve lost an electron!” The other atom asks, “Are you positive?”
  7. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
  8. I tried to tell a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
  9. What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium!
  10. Gold walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Au, get out of here!”
  11. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date, but the chemistry wasn’t there.
  12. What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.
  13. I asked the chemist if he knew any jokes about sodium hypobromite. He said “NaBrO”.
  14. Why did the sodium atom get arrested? For salt and battery.
  15. What did the chemist say when he found a compound that he couldn’t pronounce? “I have no idea what this is, but I bet it’s going to be a gas!”
  16. Why did the proton go to the gym? To gain mass.
  17. What did the chemist say to the engineer? “Can you get off my periodic table?”
  18. Why did the chemist refuse to play cards on the periodic table? Because he was afraid of the atomic weight.
  19. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He couldn’t put it down!
  20. Why did the chemist freeze himself? Because he wanted to be a solid citizen.
  21. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I have degrees!”
  22. Why do chemists like to learn about compounds? They love to bond.
  23. I was going to tell you a neutron joke, but it wasn’t charged enough.
  24. Did you hear about the carbon who went on a date with oxygen? They had great chemistry.
  25. Why did the helium balloon go to the doctor? It was feeling a little deflated.
  26. What do you call an acid with attitude? A-mean-o-acid.
  27. Why was the helium atom sad? It lost an electron and couldn’t stay positive anymore.
  28. What did one DNA strand say to the other? “Do these genes make me look fat?”
  29. Why did the copper coin decide to take a vacation? Because it needed to recharge!
  30. What did one copper atom say to the other? “I think we make a great pair, Cu and me.”
  31. Why did the noble gas cry? Because it couldn’t bond with anyone!
  32. What do you get when you cross a joke with sulfur? Sulfur-ic humor.
  33. Why did the copper go to the doctor? Because it had a case of the copper blues.
  34. What’s a pirate’s favorite element on the periodic table? Arrrrgon!
  35. Did you hear about the chemist who was a magician? He turned water into wine, then into beer, then into soda. He was a trans-formula-tionist.
  36. What do you call a thief who steals helium? He makes off like a balloon!
  37. Why do chemistry professors love to teach about ammonia? Because it’s basic knowledge.
  38. What do you call a chemist clown who’s in jail? A silicon.
  39. Why did the chemistry teacher show the class his periodic table upside down? He wanted to teach his students a lesson about the element of surprise.
  40. What’s the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
  41. Why did the chemist’s team lose the baseball game? They couldn’t get their elements to bond.
  42. What do you call an unstable element? A bad influence on the other elements.
  43. Why did the chlorine molecule break up with the sodium molecule? Because it was too salty.
  44. What did the cobalt and beryllium atom call their baby? CoBe!
  45. How do you spot a chemist in the bathroom? They wash their hands twice: once with soap and once with a base.
  46. Two atoms were talking. One said, “I think I might have lost an electron.” The other asked, “Are you positive?”
  47. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bearium.
  48. Why did the iron and the gold go to the fair? To go on the ferrous wheel!
  49. What do you call a joke that is made up of only one element? Punny!
  50. Why did the sulfur get hired as a comedian? Because it had a great sense of sulfur-humor!
Natalie Grant (with child sleeping)
Written by Natalie Grant Updated on October 11th, 2023