50 Sewing Puns That’ll Have You in Stitches

Singer along with these 50 sewing puns that are so funny, you’ll be laughing your thread off!

To be an expert in sewing you have to have a lot of patience and determination. Yet sewing is a much-needed skill when you have a hole in your clothes or need to fix a button.

Jokes are very much like sewing, threading ideas, and weaving them into a perfect pun. So check out these sewing jokes and you’ll be seaming from ear to ear.

Let’s get crafty!

1. What do you call a sewing machine that gigs at the weekend? A singer.
2. Why did the seamstress go to jail? She was caught fabric-ating.
3. I’m a sewciopath – I just can’t stop sewing!
4. What do you call a sewing machine that doesn’t work? A sew-saw.
5. Why did the button go to the doctor? It was feeling a little odd.
6. What did the sewing needle say to the thread? “You’re knot funny!”
7. Why did the tailor break up with his girlfriend? She was always cutting him short.
8. What do you call a tailor who only makes clothes for rabbits? A hare stylist.
9. Why did the satin sheet go to therapy? It had some serious wrinkles to work out.
10. What do you call a piece of cloth that never tells the truth? A fib-ric.
11. Why did the cloth get a ticket? It was caught weaving on the highway!
12. How do you get a stubborn piece of cloth to cooperate? You give it a gentle thread-ment.
13. Why did the tailor move to a different city? He was looking for a change of seam.
14. How do you know if a seamstress is good at her job? She can stitch in time!
15. My tailor is jean-ious at working with denim.
16. Why can you never rely on a tailor at times of peril? They pincushion your fall.
17. What do you call a piece of satin that’s been cut too short? A slippery slope.
18. Why did the seamstress refuse to work with buttons? She said they were a bit snappy.
19. What do you call a group of clothes that always stick together? A fabric-ation.
20. How do tailors travel? They stitch-hike.
21. What do you call a group of seamstresses? A sew-cial club.
22. When sewers are hot they jump into a spool.
23. What did one piece of fabric say to the other piece of fabric? “I’ve got you covered!”
24. Why did the sewing kit go to the doctor? It had a pin in its side.
25. What do you get when you cross a sewing machine and a refrigerator? A stitch in time saves wine.
26. Why did the sewing kit go to the doctor? It had a pin in its side.
27. How does a tailor promote their business? On sew-cial media.
28. The tailor loves chocolate so much. It”s her quilty pleasure.
29. How do you know if a quilt is sick? It starts to come apart at the seams.
30. Why did the lace go on a diet? It wanted to be a little more trim and edging.
31. What do you call a yarn that’s always telling stories? A spooly teller.
32. Why did the yarn refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to get tangled up in any drama.
33. What do you call a sewing circle that meets at a coffee shop? A stitch and sip group.
34. Why did the yarn join the band? It had a great string voice.
35. Tailors don’t like working with denim. They’re always blue.
36. How can tailors work with chain mail? They put the pedal to the metal.
37. How do you know if a piece of leather is feeling confident? It’s feeling quite tanned.
38. How do sewers communicate? By text-tile.
39. What did the dress say to the coat? Layer-ed on me.
40. Why did the dress go to the gym? It wanted to be a little more fitted.
41. How do you fix a broken heart? Sew it back together.
42. What’s a fabric’s favorite way to relax? By unwinding.
43. How does fabric get its exercise? By running a weave.
44. What do you call a fashionable piece of cloth? A fabric-tionista.
45. How did the seamstress know someone was messing up her work? She cottoned on.
46. What did one spool of thread say to the other? “I’m all wound up today!”
47. The fabric won the race. It was “un-be-weave-able!”
48. How does a button say “goodbye”? “Sew long!”
49. Sewing is like a hem-sphere, it has no end!
50. Why does the tailor like to go to the gym? To go on the thread mill.